A world from my point of view

For the last few weeks I have the worst time trying to sleep. And this is because of something in particular ... I can't stop listening to the no sleep podcast. The stories are creepy, but I just love them. And now ... it sucks because I am picturing all kind of monsters. gaaaah (Oh and Alice I know you have been reading this blog and that somehow you decided to erase the romeo and juliet one you will pay for that sister)

I'm taking care of 3 men that an emotional wreck right now ... It is a little bit overwhelming ... the 3 of them are sending me messages by chat or phone ... but I'm just here trying to be cool like I am (aja yeah right) And calls ring rang here and there la la la la .... Ugh I want to go home to see a movie or something.

http://instagram.com/p/YYcmf8CYFJ/ Food time ... And also called el.titi pollo

You left us 3 years ago ... And today I miss you more than ever. Oh how much I would like to sing with you again! I would like for you to hug me and tell me that I am being too girly. Yesterday was my mom's birthday. It was not really on my plans to go by myself, but c'est la vie. I wonder if I will eventually have peace and stop struggling with everything. There was a time when I was not this troubled, I was at peace with my feelings and thoughts. Now ... I wished you could be here so we could share the songs we used to sing. I still can't sing well in front of others ... not at my full potential .. not since you have been gone ... But, even if I miss you terribly, and I think of you every single day, I will try my best to keep on singing ... cause you made me promise. And ... you believed in me. There are now others that believe in me as well, and it is awesome, you would like them. Jonathan, I always thought I would die before you, funny huh? I am s...

So yeah today we had a few calls, nothing important really, then we had a call from a guy named Cuchillo. We all laughed for like half an hour. And this made our day ...

The words just don't come out anymore. I am speechless after this incident. How is it that after all I have accomplished I ended up like this? The fields were greener, the sky was clear and the clouds were made of different colors. Now ... my clouds look in a simple white ... there seems to be no more yellow, grey or blue in my clouds. I want it back ... I want my world back. There was a time when I wouldn't have cared ... but now I do, they taught me to care about others and their feelings. And now I suffer with them and because of them. I still feel like I want to say something, something very important, but the words just won't come out. Seems my brain does not know any words for what I am feeling. It does not matter what words I speak ... seems like you don't understand me nor the fact that this feelings are not regular for me. I maybe seem like I get along with everyone, it's a lie ... I usually don't care. All of it is a very well practice of a...